nataloaf:

pukicho:

i-like-pans7:

pukicho:

Remember to drink water babes

No

Then become the dirt I walk on.

Every post like this hits me so hard bc op always swings back with a new type of bat and I’m never prepared for it

ironwoman359:

feathersescapism:

abaddonsbabe:

taliabobalia:

when i was really little, my babysitter only spoke spanish with me so i became bilingual but i never knew when i was speaking spanish or english. one time i told my mom i wanted an avocado & she understood but then when i said the same thing to my babysitter later that day, she burst into tears with laughter because i was saying “quiero abogado” which means “i want a lawyer.”

imagine a two year old repeatedly saying “i want a lawyer!” as an adult laughs at her.

Reminding me of also funny story: So my piano teacher of many years when I was a kid had a baby when I was in my teens. This little girl was super bright, and also bilingual in Mandarin and English from her first word. 

I do not speak Mandarin. At all. 

One day as I’m waiting for my mom to pick me up after the lesson, Baby Girl is playing in the kitchen and hears me sneeze! And she runs over and says, “You need [incomprehensible]?” 

Now here’s the thing: I knew she was not speaking Mandarin. I don’t speak it, but my aunt and uncle both do, and a close family friend’s family growing up would code-switch quite comfortably around us. I was old enough and it was sufficiently different from English that because there was no formal teaching, I never derived anything from it? But I was very familiar with how it sounds to an uncomprehending ear. 

What she said did not sound like Mandarin at all. It sounded like gibberish. Like English baby gibberish. 

As I clearly didn’t understand, Baby Girl repeats, “You need [gibberish]!” and then, when I still don’t understand, she stamps her foot and makes Angry Noise at me, which attracts her mother’s attention. 

Bewildered, I relate what’s going on. Her mother covers her face and says, “She wants to know if you want a kleenex.” 

And then my piano teacher explained that Baby Girl had figured out that some people didn’t speak English and some people didn’t speak Mandarin and she needed to confine herself to one language around them. 

But sometimes, as is very natural especially for quite young children, she’d run up against realizing she didn’t know the word for something - and sometimes she knew the word in one language, but not in the other! 

And it seemed intuitive to her that the way to fix this was to say the word from the other language … with the right accent. 

So what she’d been doing was taking the word for “tissue” or “kleenex” in Mandarin and saying it like an Anglophone would: no tone-change and different vowel shapes and all. And it made Baby Girl VERY FRUSTRATED when this did not solve the problem, and at that point she seemed to believe that the adults around her were being stupid on purpose. 

children are amazing

sexualthorientation:

hephs-thighs:

chancethereaper:

bisexual-nightwing:

chancethereaper:

chancethereaper:

Bridesmaid to a waiter: What a beautiful wedding

Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?

the number of people making comments on this post about how there’s nothing wrong with being a whore is far too high like i’m not trying to shame people who are promiscuous or sex workers this is a fucking reference to a song and if you dont understand the reference dont reblog with some idiotic trying too hard to be progressive shit its literally a joke about a lyric from a song it was never, and never will be, that fucking deep. if you dont get the reference literally just shut up and dont reblog this post oh my god

by fall out boy

I dont know what’s funnier the people getting offended because they don’t get the panic reference or the people getting offended because they don’t get the fall out boy joke

Comprehension of this post is what defines the Millennial / Gen Z generational boundary.

by panic! at the disco

littlehobbit13:

There’s something inherently hilarious about Ben racing with Klaus to hide in this scene, given he’s a ghost and only Klaus can see him anyways.

ajourneywithhitler:

If klaus could see Ben right after he died and not just when they were older, I wonder if klaus was just sitting at Ben’s funeral looking at Ben like

gaygothur:

cantanopeshitthatwastaken:

gaygothur:

At this point, every round mammal is a hamster to me.

coconut

I think we both have different definitions of what mammal is but I can’t say I disagree with you.

i-am-a-fish:

phanniephobic:

gaypeopletwitter:

@i-am-a-fish it’s you,,,,

!!!!!! AAAAA!!!! It’s me!!!!!!! a lil addition:

musicalsarecrack:

students: *not sticking to the status quo*

the entire cafeteria:

break-free-killer-queen:

The “You know Gerard Way wrote Umbrella Academy but did you also know he was in a band??” articles have me shaking. I’ve become my parents.

catchymemes:

sadiie:

bisexualr2d2:

SMALL TALK TIP FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE SMALL TALK: Ask people if they have any pets. This is light and impersonal enough to offend no one. People who have pets are usually pretty excited to talk about them and show off pictures, so there’s a good chance that you will be looking at kitties and doggos. People who don’t have pets will usually talk about the pets they wish they had, or have had in the past. People who neither have nor want pets are pretty rare.

It’s a neutral topic to talk about but be prepared for the weirdest shit. I once spent an hour listening to a financial manager who kept tropical velvet earthworms

thanbk:

thanbk:

financial goals: bathtub that’s deep enough for me to be 100% fully submerged; preferably one of those triangle corner ones. Also maybe being debt free but the tub comes first

me, 8 years old, sitting in the largest bathtub that they have on display in the Home Depot: